In case you see some strangers talking loud and saying stuff like “fuhgeddaboudit,” it has been revealed that New York City has shipped off a number of their tired, their poor, their huddled masses yearning to breathe free (i.e. welfare recipients.) Only they didn’t tell anybody.
Under a program called “Special One-Time Assistance,” New York has sent away more than 5,000 homeless families or 12,482 individuals to 32 states and Puerto Rico since August of 2017, according to an investigation in the New York Post.
The Post says one household has been relocated to Marietta, one to Kennesaw and two to Smyrna. Another 13 have moved to the city of Atlanta, aka Malfunction Junction, where the sewers don’t work and neither do a number of its citizens. They should feel right at home there. But wait until they learn that the Big Apple has a lot of daily newspapers and two Major League baseball teams and Atlanta has none of the above.
Their baseball team is in Cobb County and their daily newspaper is in Dunwoody, in case you haven’t noticed. By the way, the Daily Paper in Dunwoody is in a snit these days. Clint Eastwood has used some of the money our state is doling out to Hollywood to make a movie about Richard Jewell, the tragic figure in the Olympic Park bombing. He isn’t kind to the Daily Paper in Dunwoody and a reporter who is no longer around but was, shall we say, a bit notorious. The editor of the paper says it is a bunch of hooey. How would he know? He wasn’t even here then. I was. I suspect Clint is pretty much spot-on.
Marietta Mayor Steve Tumlin thinks New York’s plan is a deliberate attempt to get people off their welfare rolls AND onto ours. He says, “If they’re here for a year and they become residents of the state, it gets them off the New York supplemental health care.”
Right now, the Marietta City Council is trying to figure out what to do about this sneaky move. I would urge caution.
The last time we got in a big fight with the Yankees, they ended up burning the place down and then to rub it in, started moving here in droves and making fun of how we talk. Most of the emigres were not on welfare. I think they just got tired of living in a place where it snows 10 months a year and all the buildings are rusted. I know I would.
We need to be smarter this time. I’m thinking maybe we could work out a trade of some sort, not unlike a baseball trade, except it wouldn’t include Dallas Keuchel, who the Braves paid $13 million and thought would get them to a World Series. Instead, they didn’t get out of the first round of the playoffs where Keuchel gave up nine hits, including three home runs in eight innings.
Maybe we can interest them in a swap: Our resident gadfly, Rich Pellegrino, whose act has gotten a bit stale in Cobb County, for two Save-the-Whales activists and a kneeling anthem protester to be named later. He would fit right in in New York City. They are always protesting something. Last week, a group called Extinction Rebellion got themselves arrested for lying down on the sidewalks in downtown Manhattan on Black Friday. They said it was to bring attention to climate change.
One extinct rebel said, “We must transform our social, political and economic systems from ones driven by destructive consumption, to systems that honor relationship and reciprocity and care for all life.”
Imagine the faces of little children on Christmas morning when the only thing they find under their tree is a note from Santa informing them that he was would no longer be leaving toys for all the good little girls and boys in order transform our social, political and economic systems from ones driven by destructive consumption to systems that honor relationship and reciprocity.
What a bunch of Scrooges. We sure don’t want them taking advantage of New York City’s Special One-Time Assistance Program. They aren’t our kind of folks.
Truth-in-advertising requires me to tell you that the Woman Who Shares My Name’s kinfolks are from New York, specifically Long Island, and I like them a lot even though they talk a bit too fast for me sometimes. I’m telling you this in case she reads this and thinks I’m being ugly about New Yorkers. I’m not. I love New York. New Yorkers can be kind and gracious people — especially her relatives.
It is just that I am disappointed that somebody didn’t pick up the phone and call us and tell us they want us to take care of people they won’t take care of themselves. I guess they know what we would have said — Fuhgeddaboudit!