"The Marietta City Council is not proposing to eliminate 'so help me God' from the oath of office taken by the city's police officers. The councilperson that initiated the discussion to consider adding an option to affirm has withdrawn the request. The oath of office remains unchanged and includes 'so help me God.'"

- Official News Release from the City of Marietta.

"The city of Marietta, the county of Cobb, the state of Georgia, and the United States of America all lack the authority to make any religious decisions for any citizen."

- Statement by Dr. Ed Buckner, president of American Atheists.

"Thanks for screwing up a good column that I had already written and was ready to send to the editors so that they could put commas where they belong. I hate commas."

- Comments of C. Richard Yarbrough, a modest and much-beloved columnist.

"I will deal with all of you later. You can count on that."

- God.

Marietta City Councilman Van Pearlberg stirred up a mess at a meeting of the Council's Public Safety Committee last week when he opined that newly-sworn Marietta police officers should have the option of not having to swear "So help me, God"

"It's a diverse population and a lot of people have diverse beliefs and as a result I would not want to lose a potential office as a result of that," Pearlberg said.

Of course, the councilman came to the meeting loaded with reams of statistics on the staggering number of potential police officers that had declined a position with the Marietta Police Department because of having to swear "So help me God" and had instead gone to work as Ronald McDonald clowns. (Note to the editor: I made that last part up. I feel sorry for the guy and am just trying to help him out of the mess he has made.)

Sources tell me that Pearlberg had had a slow day at the Cobb DA's office - his official day job - was bored stiff and wondered what it would feel like to shoot himself in the foot. He found out. After a deluge of phone calls and e-mails, he decided it might be a good idea to drop it and move on to more urgent matters - like trimming his moustache.

Pearlberg had found an ally in Councilman Philip Goldstein, who has sometimes been mistaken for God. MDJ ace reporter Jon Gillooly writes that Goldstein suggested city attorney Doug Haynie could come up with language to allow a police officer to say something else in case he or she didn't want to swear to You-Know-Who.

(Goldstein did not say so publicly, but I am told that if officers wanted to say, "So help me Philip," he would have offered no objection.)

My political operatives say that Pearlberg meant to bring up this burning non-issue during his reelection campaign and allow voters to know where he stood on the matter, but simply forgot. He is said to be red-faced and contrite over the omission.

"I really meant to have it debated during the campaign," Pearlberg said, "but it just slipped my mind, so help me George Clooney."

The episode gave Smyrna's Ed Buckner, leader of the American Atheists, a chance to weigh in on the matter. Last time I heard from him, he and his supporters were criticizing Gov. Sonny Perdue for holding a prayer vigil at the state capitol in November 2007 during the severe drought Georgia was experiencing.

"If prayers worked it would have already rained," he intoned. He should not have said that.

What Buckner didn't realize is that the governor had enlisted the help of Dr. Gil Watson, the World's Greatest Preacher. When Dr. Gil prays for rain - well, we all know what happened. The American Atheist Society is now holding its meetings in a rowboat.

All's well that ends well. Councilman Van Pearlberg has vowed he won't think out loud any more. Potential Marietta police officers won't have to buy those expensive Ronald McDonald clown suits. Ed Buckner has had a chance to pontificate before he caulks his rowboat and, most importantly, I have salvaged a column that I thought had gone down the tubes.

I love happy endings.

You can reach Dick Yarbrough at yarb2400@bellsouth.net or P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139.