Who needs Amazon.com when you’ve got Jack & Jill?
by Dick Yarbrough
January 25, 2014 12:00 AM | 948 views | 0 0 comments | 39 39 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Dick Yarbrough
Dick Yarbrough
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I heard from Jack and Jill today. As most of you know, they are the two mules that were purchased by Cobb County in 2009 to be used for educational programs at Hyde Farm, but the project tanked because the county never came up with the money for necessary renovations to the farm, including pushing over a couple of outhouses.

The mules were subsequently sold and banished to Montana or Canada or one of those places and everyone in county government seems to have conveniently forgotten about them.

Because you ask about them frequently, I have made it a point to stay in touch with them. Their call could not have come at a better time. I had just been chastised by “Reader Bill” and my spirits were low. Reader Bill wrote and said I ought to be more like syndicated columnist David Ignatius. I don’t want to be like David Ignatius.

Ignatius is associate editor of the Washington Post and a columnist for that paper. The Washington Post is owned by Amazon.com. That means if I was like David Ignatius, when I wasn’t writing navel-gazing columns I would probably be on the phone helping Amazon.com customers with their Willie Nelson CD purchases. As much as I like Willie Nelson, I don’t think that is something I would enjoy doing.

Evidently, David Ignatius doesn’t mind. To each his own.

When I told Jill about Reader Bill’s comments, she said she had never heard of David Ignatius and that Reader Bill was probably just jerking my chain and to quit being so sensitive.

She said there was a possibility he might have been referring to St. Ignatius and perhaps I wasn’t paying attention.

That can’t be right. I always pay attention to Reader Bill.

Jill said they had been reading the MDJ online out in Montana or Canada — I get those places mixed up — and wanted to talk to me about all that has been happening in Cobb County.

Jack opined based on what he has read about the recently-aborted Riverwalk project, Cobb must have eased its policy on the number of jackasses allowed in the county. If so, he and Jill were ready to forgive and forget and come back home.

It is an indisputable fact that Jack and Jill are part jackass. That comes with being a mule.

But I don’t think the way Jack was using the word had anything to do with his ancestry. He was being judgmental. This was no time to get into that discussion with Jack, but I find the term “jackass” pejorative. I’m not sure what David Ignatius would say about that. I have made a note to ask him the next time I buy some printer ink from Amazon.com.

The mules wanted to get an update on the Atlanta Braves’ move to Cobb County. I told them that it looks pretty certain that the Braves will leave Malfunction Junction, aka, the city of Atlanta, and start the 2017 season in Cobb County. My sense was that most folks were surprised by the move and for the most part pleased.

The most vocal opposition, I said, comes from a woman who lives in Gwinnett County and a community organizer who has the political clout of a doorknob.

Jill asked what I thought was the overarching reason for the move. I told her I thought the Braves wanted to be in a location where they knew the sewers worked along with most of the citizens and they had been inspired by the daily newspaper in Atlanta, which had left town several years ago and moved to Dunwoody, which is several miles northeast of the proposed stadium location.

Jack said he had been sending in anonymous warm-spit comments to the MDJ on the proposed Braves move and using the name “Moliere.” I don’t believe that for a moment. Like Reader Bill, Jack was just trying to jerk my chain. “Moliere” was authored by another jackass. I’m pretty certain of that.

Before hanging up, Jill said to let you how much they appreciate you continuing to ask about them. She wanted you to know Jack has given up fermented oats for the time being and has taken up macramé and seems to be as contented as he has been since the two mules were first uprooted from Alabama and brought to Cobb County.

I told her that I thought you would be very pleased to hear that.

It is always great to be able to tell you about what’s been happening with Jack and Jill.

The next time I order some vacuum cleaner bags from Amazon.com, I’m going to tell David Ignatius, too.

You can reach Dick Yarbrough at yarb2400@bellsouth.net; at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139; online at dickyarbrough.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dickyarb.
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