I stopped listening because you were always bottom fishing, appealing to those desperate for someone to affirm their deepest, darkest fears and prejudices.
The idea was to make it all sound like innocent fun, but there always seemed to be an undercurrent of intolerance roiling just beneath your bogus on-air bonhomie.
Your shtick would never have made it in a top market, but hereabouts and in a few dank corners of America, you found your audience.
Let’s review some of the lowlights, courtesy of Media Matters for America (yes, the liberal “smear” web site that documented your nastiness in full and in context):
On the poor and African-Americans:
“Romney is right about the poor. When the heart of your country (is) failing you don’t concentrate on toenail fungus.”
“… single mothers receiving public assistance” are “welfare broodmares.”
The people of New Orleans displaced by Hurricane Katrina are “garbage” and “worthless parasites,” who could not “get out of the way of the water when that levee broke.”
“When these Katrina so-called refugees were scattered about the country, it was just a glorified episode of putting out the garbage.”
Welfare recipients are “human parasitic garbage lining up to get their applications to loot.”
Adults earning minimum wage are “incompetent,” “ignorant,” “stupid,” “worthless” and “pathetic.”
“I think the single most dangerous group of people in this country right now are the teachers unions. They do more damage to this country than all the drug pushers together.”
Park51 (a proposed Islamic community center in New York) is “being built to commemorate a great victory over the United States on 9/11.”
“Muslims don’t eat during the day during Ramadan” and “fast during the day and eat at night,” they are “sort of like cockroaches.”
Islam is a “deadly virus” and “we’re going to wait far too long to develop a vaccine to find a way to fight this.”
Islam is a religion of “violent, bloodthirsty cretins.”
On Hispanics and Latinos:
“Give ’em all a little nuclear waste and let ’em take it on down there to Mexico”
The Superdome is a place to, “… store 11 million Hispanics just waiting to be shipped back …”
You can fit 27 “illegal aliens” into a Ford Excursion, “roll” it “and only kill 10 of them.”
“I would like to congratulate al-Qaida for their successful attack on New York City. (But) congratulate Barack Obama?”
“Trying to convince myself that under the right circumstances Obama wouldn’t be another Bashar al Assad. Trying … but I can’t.”
“Barack Obama is a bigger disaster to this country than 9/11.”
“Let’s ask Obama how many prayer rugs he has.”
Referring to an “American Idol” winner, “The more manly looking of the two won,” the runner-up “looks like a flamer”
On Cynthia McKinney:
(She) “looks like a ghetto slut.”
Yes, I know, it was just harmless tongue-in-cheek humor and I’m being a hyper-sensitive liberal. Except it wasn’t and I’m not.
You had a unique opportunity to elevate the public discourse. You could have entertained but also enlightened us, leaving something dignified and memorable behind for posterity.
But after 40 interminable years of incessant, mind-numbing yammering, there’s very little in your body of work beyond a silly, sophomoric stew of vicious, unfunny rants.
Paraphrasing Terry Malloy in “On the Waterfront,” you coulda had class, Neal. You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what you are, let’s face it.
Kevin Foley is a public relations executive, author and writer who lives in Kennesaw.