Melvyn L. Fein: Keep celebrating the central meaning of Christmas
December 19, 2011 12:00 AM | 862 views | 4 4 comments | 9 9 recommendations | email to a friend | print
I am a lapsed Jew. My wife was raised an evangelical. Indeed, we are both about as secular as one can get. Nevertheless, we celebrate Christmas. Notice I did not say the holidays. I said Christmas — for that is what I meant.

Nowadays many people object to the public display of Christian beliefs. They tell us that this is a violation of the freedom of religion. According to these critics, placing a crèche in a public place is tantamount to forcing particular beliefs on innocent bystanders.

My own view is that this is absurd. Even when government sponsored, such exhibitions force nothing on anyone. They are merely a way of honoring a religious tradition from which we have all benefited.

Like it or not, our society sprang, in part, from Christian roots. The founders were Christian and this inspired much of what they did. Why then should we be ashamed to acknowledge, and venerate, our shared heritage? History is history and cannot be wiped clean by the mere act of ignoring — or disinfecting — it.

In any event, my wife and I are pleased to honor what we both recognize as part of our personal birthrights. We put up a Christmas tree and travel a significant distance to celebrate the holiday with her parents. We also give gifts, and for that matter, light the Chanukah menorah.

We do so because we love the spirit of the holiday. The story of the birth of the Christ child is inspirational. It is so even for nonbelievers; that is, if they are open to the message of this venerable tradition. Christ was presumably born to save the world— and that is not a bad thing.

But more than this, that a child is regarded as enormously important has momentous implications for each succeeding generation. The central message of Christmas, after all, is love. It is about the love that the deity brought to his creation. And, as significantly, it is about love that has been channeled through a child.

When I was small, my family did not have a Christmas tree or celebrate Christ. Nonetheless, Santa Claus visited our house. While we did not have a chimney, he still managed to leave a great many gifts under the stockings we hung from a bookcase. As a consequence, Christmas morning was magical for my sister and me. We adored tearing open our presents to see what was inside.

What was it that made these moments especially memorable? Why, it was that these were free gifts. Despite all the talk about a need to be nice rather than naughty, they were left for us merely because we were children. As a result, they confirmed our value and the fact that we were loved.

Christmas is thus an annual expression of intergenerational love. It provides us all with an opportunity to strengthen the bonds between parents and children, and in the process provides children with a gift more precious than any toy.

A central truth of the human condition is that happy adults develop from happy children. To know that others care about us plants the seeds of a contented life. We all need love, for without it life is barren and sometimes unendurable. It is a cliché, but love gives us a reason to live. It provides the warmth that allows us to survive the chill of an occasionally hostile world.

Years ago when I was a clinician, I routinely worked with clients for whom Christmas was a burden. Having been unloved as children, they found a holiday that celebrated tender caring to be depressing. Because it reminded them of what they did not have, the pain of its absence could be sharper than a serpent’s tooth.

So what is the message of all this? It is not that we should discontinue Christmas because it causes vulnerable individuals pain. To the contrary, we must continue to celebrate the holiday’s central meaning. An event that encourages us to transmit love to the young cannot be allowed to languish. It must continue to be a source of personal and social strength.

If people object to the origins and religious trappings of Christmas, I say let them play Scrooge in their own homes. They are not defending my freedom when they seek to expunge the shared joy of a treasured tradition.

For my part, I continue to wish a merry Christmas to those of us who embrace the holiday’s intent — and a happy holiday to those who don’t.

Melvyn L. Fein. Ph.D. is a professor of Sociology at Kennesaw State University.
Comments
(4)
Comments-icon Post a Comment
Bob in W. Marietta
|
December 22, 2011
Admittedly, Mr. Fein and his family are not believing Christians. And although I respect their right to believe "Christmas is thus an annual expression of intergenerational love," I don't agree with it. Christmas not only celebrates the birth of Believers' Savior, it also symbolizes the free gift of love and salvation we can only receive from Him. I appreciate that the holiday is meaningful for his family, but the message of Christmas is diluted and misunderstood enough these days.
Harry Hagan
|
December 20, 2011
Some were, some were not...LOL

Ca. 99% were. Don't purposely be an imbecile; there are enough other occasions for absurdity.

Great column, Dr. Fein! Bravo. As always, well thought out, wise, and affable.
RL Brain
|
December 20, 2011
The story is inspirational...up until King Herod slaughters all of the male babies aged two and under in Bethlehem; my guess is the parents of those children weren't in the most celebratory of moods.
just saying
|
December 20, 2011
A little research would prove that some of our founders were Christians, some were not.
*We welcome your comments on the stories and issues of the day and seek to provide a forum for the community to voice opinions. All comments are subject to moderator approval before being made visible on the website but are not edited. The use of profanity, obscene and vulgar language, hate speech, and racial slurs is strictly prohibited. Advertisements, promotions, spam, and links to outside websites will also be rejected. Please read our terms of service for full guides